The Art of Simple

This is going to be a very short post.  Quick and to the point.

If you've gained a few pounds or just feel kind of frumpy, you can make an instant change in how you feel about yourself by simply shifting your attitude.


What is beautiful about you?  Write it down and keep the list with you, you may have more to add as the day goes on.  And you may need to take a look at those words every now and again to get yourself back on track to feeling good.


Put yourself together and look fabulous.  Take the time to pick out an outfit that flatters the best of you.  Make the effort to groom yourself to a tee.  Then smile.  In fact go out of your way to smile at everyone you see today.  Notice the shift in them. You will be remembered.  And the world will ultimately be better for it.

Substance, as defined in Webster's dictionary:  the quality of being important, valid, or significant.  The most important or essential part of something; the real or essential meaning.  The subject matter of a text, speech, or work of art, especially as contrasted with the form or style in which it is presented.

Meaningful, content.  Meaningful content.

This is the award!

I have been bestowed an honor by a fellow blogger, The Rich Life (on a Budget):
"A Blog With Substance"

The rules:  

Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience using five words. And then pass it on to another blog which you feel has real substance. 
(Actually I'm supposed to pass it on to ten blogs, but you know how I like to break the rules.  I'm giving it to two.) 



philosophy:  Give and live with joy.


motivation:   Play hard.  Work hard. Rest.


experience:  Observation and trusting my gut.


Thank you Adrienne!   


And now I pass this award to (drumroll):  


Adrienne de Pitera.  I enjoy her blog because she comes from such a real place.  I feel her warmth and generosity of spirit in her writing.  


Fiona, from How to be Chic has inspiring tips on living the chic life and she writes from New Zealand, which I find very cool!

My Zen Moment

I just look worn out, really!

  

There was  time when it was difficult for me to "live in the moment".  For sixteen years I was a single mom raising my two sons. There were never-ending responsibilities like cleaning, laundry,  preparing food, driving to day care, school and activities, doctors, pets and boo-boos.  I worked arduous hours to provide for them.  And was a bit on the late show for a lot of their important deadlines, but I'd managed to get it done.

J's graduation: (top) Uncle G, J, me, my sis, and G
(bottom) cousin and girlfriend May '09.  Empty nester almost.

I am now sans kids (they still need me!) so I have the luxury of the occasioned Zen moments.  Of course I have a schedule and responsibilities, but I am not nearly as likely to have a running tape inside my head of past mistakes or future deadlines. I can take a shower and experience the warmth of the water relaxing my muscles without the anticipated pounding on the door, a whiny demand, "Mom!  I'm hungry!" or worse, the death shriek, "Mom!!!!  I just drove the riding lawn mower into the pool!"

Self Help, I'd have really liked a maid instead.

I recall well-meaning, childless friends offering their sage advice, in a show of love and support for my finding Zen and ultimately help me to slow down and smell the proverbial roses.  They brought gifts of books on how to achieve Zen and ultimately, inner peace.  I guess they observed my frazzled lack of focus or my signature knotted forehead.  And, those half-started books multiplied on my night-stand as a goodnight reminder of my morning's intent to 'practice' Zen only to turn out to be yet another day of the cliff-hanging train ride of my life.  My "practice Zen" line would often turn out to be another item on my list of 'to dos' that stayed uncrossed-off, which would then add to my inadequacy issues.

Yes, I wanted this, but, it wasn't in the cards.

I thought about those Buddhist monasteries and try to visualize the Zen monk studying the simple perfection of a flower while a couple of kids rough and tumble about the well manicured grounds or yanking on his robe during meditation to say "can we have a Popsicle, now?"

Yucky-poo poo!

A few days ago I had an epiphany.  I sat before a large and never ending stack of obligatory paper work, time-sensitive forms and bills to pay on the left corner of my kitchen counter top.  It had been moving to and fro my office for a few weeks or more.  I don't know about you, but I procrastinate like crazy when it comes to boring reading of documents that require my signature or dealing with financial issues like securing student loans or waiting on hold to demand a refund from an online service (hint: use American Express because they will do it for you).  I sat there looking at the daunting pile limp with shear burn-out having had a particularly enervating day.

What to do?

I was so darn sick of the obstinate stack and my stalling procrastination, I finally caved and decided it was time to simplify my life and complete the unnerving tasks.  I needed to get my ass moving and get the pile cleared completely away.  It took me three days of phone calls, re-reading, and filing away the completed projects.  While sitting on a hard plastic chair at the car repair shop, I waited on hold with financial aid and the online service without finally hanging up.  I had the uncomfortable discussions, paid the hard-to-look-at bills, located the documents required of me, faxed this, mailed that.  I did it.

I start my deep breathing...

I even peeled off the taped messages to myself of wise quotes and the spiritually obvious one-liners.  Finally, there was white space and I was in the moment.  When my counter top was cleared, I found Zen.  While hanging out there, I had a synapse that I felt within my solar plexus; everything made sense!  I had been living in the moment while raising my boys.  I had been nurturing myself spiritually like no meditating could ever have provided me.  I had been the sun my sons orbited around.  And that was an experience unlike any school, seminar, temple or monastery could ever provide me.

Ommmmmmmm....

The deep wisdom, and education motherhood indoctrinated in me was patience, vision, strength, compassion, moral compass, respect, honor, dignity, confidence and strength (I know, I already said that).  I didn't need to read any of those books!  I had been living my spiritual honing every day and every moment while nurturing and supporting those same values in my sons.

The simple perfection of a flower.

Zen is how I choose to look at the way I have lived and continue to live my life.   My past is ALL of the memories I cherish and the ones I work hard on for forgiveness.  I can ponder on how things will be next week or next year because I have lived with the reality that "sh.t happens" and I am now skilled at the foresight to the potential outcomes resulting of my actions.

The simple perfection of sun-tea, an old orchid plant, the never sprouting avocado seed and a chia pet.

For now, I have a bare counter; no notes, lists, forms, volunteer agenda's, people to contact, bills to pay or the boys school requirements to complete.  There are no pressing emergencies or a loved one sick.

Maybe tomorrow?

I am free to study the simple perfection of a flower or close my eyes in lotus position and think nothing.  With this blank canvas, my mind wanders to the window I am looking out and I see the finger prints and water stains.  Beyond, I see my Bar-B-Q frosted with a thick layer of dust and grime.  And, I say out loud, "So What!"

 

I will let it go.

For now...

Age Is Not Old!

(This is dedicated to a special woman I only just met via my blog.)

"Oh well!", "So what?", "Who cares?"

I really love those two word mantras of mine and they have served me well in times when I want to beat myself up for eating the rest of the cheesecake I should have thrown out or drank too much at a party only to remember I demonstrated the 'running man' for the crowd.  But, in the wrong hands, these two word mantras become a saboteur!

When Helen (check her out by scrolling down a bit in the "Calories Count" blog) first came to me on February first of this  year, she weighed thirty-one pounds more than she does today.  We couldn't determine her percentage of body fat because it wasn't on the chart.  Soon to be sixty-three, she decided she needed to at least try to lose some weight and get more fit.  I must be honest here, Helen had a goal even I was suspect of, she wanted to run a marathon again.  But hearing her declare this goal made me realize she was hoping for the best possible outcome.

Helen, today, September 8th, 2010

"It is never too late to become the person YOU ARE inside!"  Helen said this morning.  "I want to inspire anyone out there who doesn't believe they can be fit and tell them 'YOU can do it'!  But, you will need support.  Debra was that for me.  She believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself.  She gave me hope and had the expertise to show me the way."

"I am a nurse and I work hard, but I made the commitment to her and I paid her (expensive!) fee for fifty sessions up front.  She told me honestly that making this kind of commitment would be worth it as there would be days when I would want to blow it off and say, 'oh well, 'so what' and 'who cares'.   She knew that given my current lifestyle and physical condition, I would have some difficulties in my transition.  She never gave me more than I could handle.  In fact, I can see now that it was part of her psychological tactic to give me slightly less so that I could feel like a winner every time!"

Helen on February 1st, 2010

Helen has come almost every Wednesday and Friday at 7:00 a.m. since she plunked down her hard earned cash.  Today, she said that she ran for the first time and it felt great.  She also brought me four of her homemade ice cream sandwiches.  They were one inch square and made with graham crackers and whipped cream with a few more added ingredients (recipe to follow another day).  "I got fat when I stopped cooking.  I'm cooking again!  I found I eat less when I prepare food.  It's like all of my senses receive pleasure and it satisfies me without having to pig out.  I smell the cookies as they bake in my warm kitchen and see and feel what I am preparing.  Now I can am totally satisfied with one cookie because I savor the fruits of my labor!"

How Bodeci is that!!

This is Tony, he is a student in my Bodeci method workout class.
I snapped this on Saturday.  It was his birthday.  He turned 59.

The Hermes Scarf

April was quite creative with this style.  She accordion pleated the scarf, the wrapped it around my neck, tucking the ends through to created a very sophisticated ascot of sorts.  I brought my dogs into the photo as I felt very "English Country"  All I needed was my steed and my riding gear!

I had a Bodeci party.  What is a Bodeci party you ask?  I kept it simple, yet elegant with each of my seven girlfriends bringing their "signature" potluck dish for a summer day party,

The house, while clean enough, was given a quick once over to ensure bathrooms and kitchen, the two areas of my house the girls may go in, were 'guest' clean. We primarily stayed outdoors as the weather was perfect! 

This was Kathy's "look".  The triangle hip tie and I felt very "party-girl" in it, like I wanted to do a little salsa.  I felt a bit '60's hipster in it.

When Amy did the 'Jackie O" babushka, I couldn't help grabbing a pair of sunglasses from Christina and pretend to run from the paparazzi!  

Was this Donna or Deborah's idea?  It definitely showed off the scarf, but I felt a breeze on my backside!

Christina won the contest with the corners tied to my necklace then wrapped the others around my waist to make sort of a '70's halter style.  I just had to put on some bell-bottoms I tried making into hip-huggers.  I added my super high wedgie platforms and to complete the look, large hoop earrings.

This look, by Kathy, was the last look of the day.  A true halter, but it cowled in front.  Christina ran into my house and grabbed a martini glass for the "shoot". Felt like a celebrity hanging out in Monaco!

I love my girlfriends and thankfully they love me.  It was so much fun getting to play dress-up with them.  (I used to play dress-up as a kid, but when I became a 'responsible adult', I thought I'd lost the art.)  I know I will always be a goof-ball, we had such a great time being silly!  Who says we can't play like children in our fifties and beyond?  What do you do for 'playtime'?

The Garden (Bodeci) Party

My sun tea, from left: white pomegranate, black mango and "Duchess Grey".  Trader Joe's

Simple flower arrangement on the food table.  Pretty hand towels in ceramic holder (a birthday gift from Adrienne.  I loved one of her first blogs about them) beautifies my bathroom.  

My flowers were all dead-headed recently, so I welcomed my girls with this cute little sitting area near my front door and a painting I did years ago depicting Sonoma Valley lifestyle.


(As you sing my song, please sing it to the musical score of "Garden Party" by Ricky Nelson)

I had a BODECI party to reminisce with my old friends

a chance to share old memories and talk 'bout our kids again.

 So, I went to the veggie garden to harvest stuff to eat.

Then I washed, sliced, grilled, seasoned and created a wonderful treat.

Grilling my harvest is easy with one of these vegetable grillers.

But, it's all right now, we've learned our lesson well, 

"If you can't please anyone then ya got to please yourself!"

I tossed my grilled vegetables with olive oil, vinegar, fresh ground pepper, sal de mer, fresh basil and shaved Parmesan Reggiano.  Served in my grandmother's 1950's salad bowl.

Christina's white bean roasted pepper casserole,  Kathy's chicken lettuce wraps,

Amy's arugula, fig salad and the sun tea brought major claps!

Deborah's sliced tomatoes vinaigrette and steamed green beans from the vine
with Ellen's stuffed mushroom caps, Oh! it was quite divine!

 Easy party trick: keep a Bodeci basket nearby to toss those papers, notes and stuff
you always have on your counter top. (My laptop fits in nicely, too!)

But, it's all right now, we've learned our lesson well, 

"Ya see we can't please everyone so we got to please our self!"

The girls arrive!

Donna made this awesome vegetable farrow (sp?) salad, a highlight of our day
We were getting ready for desert  along with a bit of Chardonnay.
Then April's oatmeal/ coconut cookies and Trisha's soft brie & grapes
We knew to enjoy just a bit cuz we want to keep our shapes!

From left background: Christina, Kathy, Amy, Deborah, Donna
Foreground:  April and Ellen

But, it's all right now, we've learned our lesson well, 

"Ya see you can't please everyone so ya got to please yourself!"

Said hello to Seamac, our "pool guy" and good friend,
he said, "Have fun and take a dip, just gotta give it 'bout ten.
So Donna, April, Amy and I stripped down to our swimsuits
then jumped into my warm, aqua pool with giggles, hollers and hoots!

Amy, Donna and April splash  and play!

But, it's all right now, we've learned our lesson well, 

Ya see I can't please everyone so I got to please myself!

Stay tuned for my scarf tying competition modeling show!

Asked to model my Hermes scarf, (Oh, I'm such a ham!)
Everyone had a chance to try and make me a bit more glam!
We can show those photos another time cuz I'm sure you want to take
a little time off (Well, it's Labor day, so, go take a break!)

Rocky and Boomer share a bit of insight about us girls.

But, it's all right now, I've learned my lessons well, 

Ya see we can please everyone as long as we please ourself!

The End (for now!)

"I Hate to Exercise...."

To those of you who hate to exercise, let’s talk. 

Do you feel pain or discomfort when you exercise?  There are a percentage of folk’s who cannot tolerate a few minutes, let alone an hour of exercise because of the bodily discomfort.  Perhaps as you read this you are thinking, “Who doesn’t feel pain or discomfort when they exercise?” 

Actually I love the feeling I get when I am lifting weights or doing resistance exercise.  I also love to dance (aerobically) with loud music.  I cannot stand running or even walking on a treadmill, but love to run if I have to get somewhere quickly.  It is all a matter of taste.

What the “exercise hater” needs to do is to think of what kind of movement she likes.  For example, do you enjoy working in your garden, cleaning your house, taking walks through the park?  Look into who you are and what truly floats your boat! 

Then simply add a few things to your “movement” such as squats while gardening and lunges during your walk.  You can do push-ups against the bathroom counter before you brush your teeth and crunches on the floor when you catch your favorite program.  You can do triceps dips off of the park bench.  For demonstration you may tune into my YouTube workouts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_nY10yaHeo  and  go ahead and clean your floors!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUHYCz58vCw   and  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YxpmqveC6s

The End!

Don’t think of your exercise program as an hour a day, instead, think of doing five minute increments whenever you do something that requires you to move!    

Young Woman, Old Girl

I didn't raise daughters, but I have 'my girls'.  They are K and R, my son's girlfriends and I have known them both for over three years.  Both are uniquely beautiful and both have had their share difficulties in life.  They are smart and work hard for their achievements.  They don't put on acts and play "bitchy", in fact, they are sweet and show their vulnerability without being wimps.



I remember when I was their age and how, not too long ago but before I met these girls, I would think, "I thought I knew everything back then.  What a dumb ass I was!  I wouldn't go back to that age for anything, with all of it's insecurities and challenges."  I found myself expressing to friends of my age, "What I have found, is that 'the older I get, the less I know'!"  Because I have lived more than twice the amount of time on earth as 'my girls' doesn't mean they are not wise.

How many lives have us girls led?

Before knowing K and R I assumed there wasn't much I could learn from young women of their age.  I mean, let's face it, after viewing their generation in action on TV programs such as, "My Sweet Sixteen",  (I think that's the name.  It depicts bratty teen girls who practically send their parents to debtor's prison in order to have a sweet sixteen party and a new sports car for a gift.) "The Kardashian's" and "Jersey Shore", it's no wonder I hadn't much time for their generation of women.  A generation who was raised viewing and revering those tabloid photos of Lindsey, Brittany and Paris behaving like spoiled tramps, not a shred of class or dignity, only to want to be just like them.

Remember when you thought getting married was the end all!

Over the summer, both of 'my girls' were around a lot and not just because my sons were.  They both really enjoy spending time with me.  We can sit for hours talking about school or work or guys or how we aren't feeling good about a certain part of our body.  We also support each other during those times when life slaps us in the face and praise each other for each new accomplishment.  And, I learn plenty from 'my girls' as they learn from me.  After knowing them as I do now, I would go back to those days, but only if I could come back to where I am now.

Life will hone us into the beautiful women we are.

I have met young girls who are old enough to be my sister.  They are the ones who are forever immature, needy and self-absorbed.  Similarly, I have met old women young enough to be my sister, but because of their close-mindedness, negative attitude and inflexibility, they have lost their sense of playfulness and independent spirit.  

Just a bunch of young women, old girls.  Do you see Adrienne back there?

One day, a few weeks back, 'my girls' and I talked about how the three of us were young women, mature and responsible as well as vulnerable and insecure.  We three are also old girls, young at heart and wise, having jumped over many hurdles in our lives. The three of us realize that we are human and flawed.  We will make mistakes.  We will do something stupid.  And, in our humanness find forgiveness for ourselves.  All we can do is to work at being the best we can and to learn from each other.  

I am an old girl but for sure, I am still a young woman!