What do think people really want, happiness or validation? I hear about a lot of famous people, who are idolized by others. We look at them and think, they must be happy.
Fiona wrote a great post regarding contentment for her blog "How to be Chic". I left a comment about how we, as mere humans, look for our value through another's validation of us. Then I mentioned how "I'd rather set my own standards than to have a skinny teenage model tell me what is hot".
The ugly truth is, I do care what people think about me and I do want to be accepted by others. What are those things I do or don't do for their recognition, to be seen, look up to; admired? Well, right now I am writing this post for my blog and I think about what it is I truly hope for with it as I type away my Sunday night. Let's face it, it takes time to write one little post. At least it does for me.
The first image flashing through my mind is that of thousands of readers all over the world, waiting like kids on Christmas to read my blog. Now why'd I go and dream up that little scenario? What would thousands of eager readers have to do with my worth as a human being? I guess it would mean I'm cool. People like cool people, so therefor, I would also be liked.
Just after this image flash, the other me jumps in to save the day and I continue typing away my Sunday because I am compelled to. And because I feel I have something of value to say. If I could inspire or motivate others to love themselves for their unique beauty and care more about themselves, well that would be cooler than cool. That would make me happy. To be cool and happy, now that was something to achieve!
I think about the good old days; trying to make a living and raising my boys. Did I seek validation from others? I worked too hard at being 'correct', as it alone would garner acceptance within my world of motherhood, fitness and making money.
Fiona wrote a great post regarding contentment for her blog "How to be Chic". I left a comment about how we, as mere humans, look for our value through another's validation of us. Then I mentioned how "I'd rather set my own standards than to have a skinny teenage model tell me what is hot".
The ugly truth is, I do care what people think about me and I do want to be accepted by others. What are those things I do or don't do for their recognition, to be seen, look up to; admired? Well, right now I am writing this post for my blog and I think about what it is I truly hope for with it as I type away my Sunday night. Let's face it, it takes time to write one little post. At least it does for me.
The first image flashing through my mind is that of thousands of readers all over the world, waiting like kids on Christmas to read my blog. Now why'd I go and dream up that little scenario? What would thousands of eager readers have to do with my worth as a human being? I guess it would mean I'm cool. People like cool people, so therefor, I would also be liked.
Just after this image flash, the other me jumps in to save the day and I continue typing away my Sunday because I am compelled to. And because I feel I have something of value to say. If I could inspire or motivate others to love themselves for their unique beauty and care more about themselves, well that would be cooler than cool. That would make me happy. To be cool and happy, now that was something to achieve!
I think about the good old days; trying to make a living and raising my boys. Did I seek validation from others? I worked too hard at being 'correct', as it alone would garner acceptance within my world of motherhood, fitness and making money.
I take a look at that person I was; the deeper darker areas in me that I didn't have the juevos to admit openly to. Just off the top of my head I come up with:
- I was secretly thrilled that both of my babies weren't satisfied with my breast milk and had to be weaned at three months, give or take. I'm sorry, I was not the nursing type!
- I would have loved for my kids to have gone to one of those ridiculously prestigious private schools all of my clients had their kids in (but I couldn't afford).
- I did envy that elegantly long, thin woman who wore designer duds and drove a brand new politically incorrect car to and fro her law office and never had time for the field trips.
- I hated running, but did it anyway because it was supposed to be good for me and, after all, I was a fitness professional.
- I secretly thought about marrying for money so I didn't have to work so dam hard, could travel and do lunch without being a wreck from exhaustion like a lot of my clients did.
Today I am working on being honest to myself and being myself. At times I am not as pleasing as I once was. I am not holding my tongue when asked my opinion, however, I am not cruel. And I am no longer dancing on eggshells to ensure an other's comfort. I may not be considered 'correct' anymore to those who I allowed to define my worth.
I wished I had listened to myself and not run all those boring hours, maybe I could have avoided knee surgery. And I love being nearly debt free even though I don't drive a fancy car or wear clothes advertised in Vogue. I am happy as hell I married for love, I've see the alternative. My boys are perfect, just the way they are and no amount of breast milk or going to a pretentious school could make them any better. And I have the best memories of smelly buses hauling screaming, wiry kids to museums and pumpkin patches
For now, I am cool to some and I am happy a good amount of time. I guess you could say I am content.
I wished I had listened to myself and not run all those boring hours, maybe I could have avoided knee surgery. And I love being nearly debt free even though I don't drive a fancy car or wear clothes advertised in Vogue. I am happy as hell I married for love, I've see the alternative. My boys are perfect, just the way they are and no amount of breast milk or going to a pretentious school could make them any better. And I have the best memories of smelly buses hauling screaming, wiry kids to museums and pumpkin patches
For now, I am cool to some and I am happy a good amount of time. I guess you could say I am content.
As for validation, here is the bate: What does contentment mean to you? Who validates you? What makes you happy?
