Get Out of Your Way!

I moved out of my way and into to my life.  Yep!  My Life.  And right now I feel fantastic!

There was a bit of catching up to do, so I didn't make my blog a priority for a while.  I had bigger fish to fry like finishing all those half-done projects that took up precious space in my world, not to mention, made me feel guilty.  I also got rid of the old and out-dated piles of stuff (or those projects that never made sense in the first place).  I had to decide what was no longer working for me and be prepared to change it.

The pool was no longer working for me.  It cost a bunch of $ to maintain and I felt guilty for not swimming more.
So I had it changed it into a Koi pond.  (Thanks Randy!)

First, let me share with you how amazing it feels to not lug around that heavy, old, tired load of doubt, guilt, worry and shame.  I still have just enough of those feelings to make sure I am not living in exalted joy twenty-four/ seven, but, I have to wonder why I continued to do those things that kept me pretty much in the same darn place I'd been at for a while; unfulfilled. (And guilty because how dare me not feel fulfilled when I have so much to be grateful for!)

I have worked at being on a spiritual path for most of my adult life and have read most of the self-help, spiritual and psyche themed books out there, but often, I'd feel more shame after reading those books than I did before; maybe I'm just not as good a person as they are.

But this isn't about spiritualism, this is about self-acceptance and without it, I would never be able feel the gratitude I was supposed to feel or "live in the present" when I was constantly worrying about my future.  I finally forced myself to get rid of what was creating the self-doubt in the first place so that I could get the hell out of my way and on to living my joy.  There comes a time in our lives when we need to get over our childhood, or whatever the story is we hold on to that keeps us a victim in our life.  So, I worked in a practical mode; no more reading about it!

I decided to work on one thing at a time, just like I suggest to my clients.  And, I decided, I would begin with what I never thought I would ever get rid of from my lifestyle:  The first thing I got rid of was drinking alcohol.

And then everything just started taking care of itself.  It is pretty cool what those kinds of shifts in our lifestyle can do for us!  We are the ones who make our choices...

13 days later...

I am still alive!  Wow, I used to brag how I rarely got sick, but when I did, I would be the first getting over it.  Not this time.  I have been humbled!

Now on my second week with an awful head cold, I am due to leave to Nashville for another John Lennon art show.  It will be held at the Franklin Art Fair and we are the featured main event.  I would love to travel with a clear head, but I guess I have been really lucky all these years and this time is an exception to the rule!

OK, I must confess:  I have been completely alcohol free for a month.  Yes a month and I want to say, I do not miss it.

Do not get me wrong! I have never been the kind of person to think drinking alcohol was "bad" for you and, in fact, have a reputation as a trainer to be very lenient with alcohol.  Well, I kind of had to be, after all, I would be a hypocrite to suggest to a client to give up something I wouldn't.

This is the fuel source now.  It's just water!

All the power just seemed to fizzle from my nightly glass of wine or vodka/ soda with a squeeze one day.  I had just gotten back from Sarasota, Florida and I became obsessed with trying to lighten up our monthly expenses.  (Those boys in college, you know!)  My husband and I decided to turn our pool into a self-sustaining pond, complete with fish and lily pads.  Then the sun came out and my energy escalated and the next thing we knew our vegetable garden was planted.  Without my even realizing it, I had not had my nightly fix!  Was it because my stress level went down?  Was it because my husband decided he didn't want to drink anymore?

Whatever my reasons doesn't matter much to me.  I have had my share and if I should want to have a drink in the future, so what?  But for now, this feels really good!  Oh, and I don't have that monkey on my back saying, "Well, you drank alcohol and it depletes your vitamin C, so that is why you got this cold so intensely!"

No, I just got a bad cold.  So what?